I normally do not let pictures of me to be taken. In the past year I have put on 25 lbs. Not handling stress, over eating of sugars & fats, lack of exercise has gotten me to this very sad point.I am 5 feet 5 inches tall and large boned. I am now 102 pounds over weight and considered morbidly obese. My body fat is 62%. My BMI is 40- Obese ( this is according to BMI calculator ) I am tired all the time, I lack energy to do most things, the joy in my life is lacking and I am not the person I want to be. To go upstairs I am out of breath by the time I reach the top. My body is constantly retaining water and swelling up.
I will not share at this time my weight due to the embarrassment I am feeling. I do have pictures that are not majorly revealing that I will post tomorrow much to my horor. I don't own a bathing suit or shorts and this is so pathetic since I live in Arizona.
I have been planning this journey of a life change out for a while but wasn't sure how to go about it. I have been on so many diets, diet pills and such that I thought I was distend to be FAT forever and excepted it. Not being happy with who I have become. Not wanting to be out in public but need and have to be. My clothing fitting so tightly that I can hear seems ripping in my shirts as I go to fold my arms as I pray in church. This time it is not just to lose the weight. I was given a what I would call a wake up scream that said, "If YOU don't lose this weight this time you will die!" I have let my family know of this and asked for their support in the life changing process I am embarking on. Too be honest with you I am sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. Pushing myself daily to get out of bed and get things done. Even crafting has been tiresome for me as the weight has piled on. So with this life style change I want to document the process of this and maybe help someone else who is struggling. This is my blog to help me through this process and come out a better changed person. I know that this is a long road to travel and I feel up to the hills that I will climb to reach my goal of a Healthy Habit called Bobbi Jo's life.
I decided to start this blog as a way to be accountable and I am more likely to type in a journal than I would to pick up a notebook and paper. This is for me and if no one reads it that is fine, at least I will have this to read and reread.
A little background of me: I am a 44 year old wife and mother of 5. Ages of these wonderful children ranges from 8 to 18. I have always struggled with my weight thinking I was huge at the age of 12 I started a bad habit of binge eating and purging. I was wanting to break into modeling and they kept telling me I need to be very thin so I would continue to put my body through what would end up messing up my body and mind. I had many challenges and I am not using these as an excuse for being where I am now. At the age of 18 I ended up in the hospital after taking 2 boxes of chocolate Exlax , several diet pills and some water pills. I then ended up with a prolapsed mitrovalve heart, a prolapsed stomach and a messed up mind. Following this 15 year battle of Bulimia and 2 years of Anorexia I never learned how to deal with stress and take care of myself the right way. I retired from modeling at 21 I was too short and not thin enough for one of the hardest industries to please.
I continued with the weight issue after I got married. Wanting to have a baby so badly and not being able to get pregnant. I believe a lot of this was due to the Bulimia . After 3 years I did get pregnant and let myself go. I stopped taking care of Bobbi Jo. I concentrated on being a mom and I think at the time I had it in my head that a mom would be frumpy and not hot. Years past and 2 more much wanted babies were born into our family. At 32 shortly after baby #4 was born I had a mild heart attack. After being let out of the hospital I was put on the wonder drug to lose weight Fen-Phen and I lost almost 70 lbs. I felt great . I looked good but it didn't last I went back to the non-exercising mom of before and added more on. I have since then had 2 more beautiful children. A few months after the last baby was born I was rushed to the hospital with Gallbladder Pancreatitis. The doctor didn't think I would make it but I showed them. So after recovering from this surgery I had a major hernia. My stomach was hanging down to the midway of my thigh. I got it repaired but left with a major scar and as some would call dog jowels from the loose body fat at my stomach.
I share this with you because I think there are too many people that struggle thinking they are the only ones who have delt with one thing or another. I am hoping through this blog we can share our thoughts, stories and progress if no one else at least I will have record to see the progress I make daily because this is a daily thing for me to deal with.
My biggest block to me being healthy and looking good is ME! I am so ready to deal with the dealing with stress, food decisions, exercise and lack of support from loved ones.
I will not share at this time my weight due to the embarrassment I am feeling. I do have pictures that are not majorly revealing that I will post tomorrow. I don't own a bathing suit or shorts and this is so pathetic since I live in Arizona.
The key is for me to not focus on the numbers on the scale but the feeling and fit of my clothing. To be honest with anyone who reads this I want to be a HOT mom. Not for other men to look at but for me to feel good about me. To feel beautiful and happy with who I am. I want to be able to give to other and serve others. I will share the plans, exercise, food diary , inspirational people and other things that someone might want to read about. As I said before this is about the NEW LIFE of Bobbi Jo. So with the New Year starts a new journey that I am excited about. Sincerely, Bobbi Jo
